These are hard words to say and sometimes I just don't know how to say them. Or sometimes, I'm worried that, if I say them, you won't hear them right or you'll hear the wrong tone and you won't understand what I'm trying to say in the first place.
So I say different words. And we talk about different things. Because the things I really want to say are too hard, too fraught with danger, too untrustworthy.
But, the hard words are still there. They haven't gone anywhere and there are parts of me that still need to say them. That still need to be heard. So I bury those parts and I bury those words and we don't talk about the things.
Because they are hard to say.
Oh, I've been here. Too often to count.
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